Posts tagged ‘Verne Troyer’

September 15, 2011

What Does That Euphemism Really Mean? #2

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

Oooh yeah. My favorite place to pack my meat!

Inventory Leakage: What happens when you have too much liquidity in assets.

Hankie Pankie: What happens after all Hank Williams Jr.’s rowdy friends come over.

It Fell Off The Back Of A Truck: Microsoft explanation for why so many XBOX 360’s stopped functioning just outside of their warranty period.

Kick The Bucket: Literal; who the fuck left that there?

Knocked Up: The result of astronauts fighting.

Lose Your Lunch: The all-too-often result of using the shared refrigerator at the office. Thieving puds!

Laid Off: Describes post-coital. For the kinky this sometimes involves ‘Pissed Off’.

Meat Packer: He who puts together a picnic lunch.

Powder Your Nose: Result of lacking care for your appearance after consumption of powdered doughnuts.

Put To Sleep: Brief review of WNF articles written by Andrew Hicks.  ;)

Six Feet Under: The location of Verne Troyer in relation to Shaq’s head.

January 23, 2011

All The Small Things

by J. Miz

My best friend has been obsessed with having sex with a male midget human since she heard their “junk” is “normal” sized. It isn’t enough for her to have a Mardi Gras style flashing situation, the little dude HAS to enter her. Who am I to judge, I’ve fucked an amputee for the hash mark. The whole concept – when revealed – threw me into a tizzy of hopes and planning:

“So do you want him be all missionary so you can see if you can spin him like a top, ala Tucker Max?!?”

“You know it’d be like an instant boob job as soon as he touched your titties. Your tits would look HUGE.”

“In fact, I’d have him rub on my butt so I could feel like J-LO… badonkadonk!”

“Are midgets really small or are they just far away?”

“Objects in mirror aren’t smaller than they appear… THEY’RE MOTHERFUCKING MIDGETS!”

read more »

January 3, 2011

Do Reacharounds Count?

As close as I get to a smile around here

by PSEUDONYMOUS

Today’s WordPress Topic Of The Day is: “Share something that makes you smile.”

What makes me smile? Nothing. Especially not around here. Here is a blog with 50,000 words, covering an array of topics, and not a shit-stick worth of funny.

The only thing funny around here is Andrew Hicks‘ fetishes with Michael Bolton and Billy Ray Cyrus. Can we please have an article covering something you didn’t masturbate to in the 90’s?

And what’s with this Woo? This fucking tardsmarts really thinks we don’t see through his attempts at comedy? Tag it as satire all you want, guy — we all know you really do suck cock for Facebook access, and have an unhealthy obsession with Verne Troyer. I’m with Kanye West, I’ll be over at The Onion.