Posts tagged ‘Science’

September 12, 2011

Haiku News, 12 September 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO


Bartz Resigns from Yahoo Board

What is this “Yahoo!”?
I will have to Google it.
Oh! Ha ha ha ha.

—–

Jersey Shore: Snooki and Deena Fight in the Dark

Tried to watch this show.
TV screen was all orange.
Took it for repair.

—–

NASA Launches Satellites to Map Moon’s Core

In this day and age,
A mystery at last we solve.
Is it made of cheese?

—–

Why does the female orgasm exist?

Science does not know.
Will need more research funding
for trips to Vegas.

—–

3 held in Detroit over bathroom trips on plane

Damn you T.S.A.
A man can’t drop a stink-deuce
seven times per flight?

—–

Woman dies after injecting hot beef fat into face

Damn you silly woman!
Now you totally ruined
my best pick-up line.

June 27, 2011

Broken News, June 26, 2011

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by WOO

Ryan Dunn both drunk and speeding @ time of crash

Film recently obtained from MTV Productions, makers of Jackass, shows Dunn just before entering his vehicle for its fated rendezvous, making the statement, ‎”I’m Ryan Dunn, and this is Fatal Crash.”

What a Jackass…

New Android Phone Works Even After Bathing in Sweat

Finally, a phone women can carry around in nature’s holster, the underboob.

Now nothing has to stop for a text or Facebook status update. People will be swexting — having sloppy, sweaty sex, while also texting their buddies about how awesome or lousy it is. Who are we kidding; is sex ever bad for men?

While unable to reach anyone via phone for comment, we did receive a written statement from Sony Ericcson as follows: “Because Apple and iPhone refused to accept that 77% of their market was sweaty overweight men, we have developed the Xperia to cater exclusively to them. We look forward to shaking their clammy, fat hands.”

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