Posts tagged ‘Republicans’

September 19, 2011

Haiku News, 19 September 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

It's 'policy' when you take from the poor to keep the rich happy. It's 'warfare' when you take money from a millionaire who will still be a millionaire afterwards.

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Republicans Call Obama’s Tax Plan ‘Class Warfare’

Kill the middle class.
And then call the Kettle black.
Neo-Con trash Pots.

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New England faces possible pumpkin shortage

A Pumpkin shortage?
I bet it’s Peter. Peter
Damn Pumpkin Eater.

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Windows 8: What you need to know

Same as Win 7
with a fugly Start Menu.
The future is here.

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PlayStation Network Updates Protect Sony from Lawsuits

You can’t sue Sony.
I did not know my console
was an H.M.O.

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Exclusive: Lohan ‘Distressed’ By Bad Girl Reports

Left Rehab today.
Interview held in Night Club.
Don’t call me ‘Bad Girl.’

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US gamers crack puzzle in AIDS research that stumped scientists for years

Three-Hundred Fifty.
Is not only Gamer weight,
but I.Q. as well!

September 5, 2011

Haiku News, 5 September 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

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The newly-discovered Shroud Of Palin

Government sues 17 big banks for mortgages

Government suing banks
Going to recoup money
Just to waste again

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Sarah Palin gives a rousing non-campaign campaign speech in Iowa

Whenever mentioned
A Palin Presidential Run
Jesus cries kittens

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Will Chaz Bono Use Cher’s Music on Dancing With the Stars?

With Chaz Bono there
And that Cunt-faced Nancy Grace
Will anyone watch?

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New species of ancient rhinoceros found in Tibet

Spiritual Sage
Enlightened Rhinoceros
Prophesy foretold

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For $620K, You Too Can Own a Jet-Powered Batmobile

So this must be why
Class warfare is in vogue now
Republican toys

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Domino’s to serve pizzas on the Moon, apparently

The space vacuum
May actually help with
The cardboard flavour

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Who is WikiLeaks Blaming for Breaching Its Security?

WikiLeaks has leak
Should update security
With some WikiTweaks

June 13, 2011

Woo’s News, June 13, 2011

by WOO

US Scores Three More Insider-Trading Convictions

There are criminals on Wall Street. Who fucking knew?

Vancouver’s Lapierre finds success to the max after leaving Ducks

Wait… this is about hockey? Can’t seem to give a shit…

Facebook IPO seen moving ahead in first quarter

So a nerd found out how to make money off of people posting status updates every time the weather changes by two degrees, they eat dinner, suffer gastrointestinal issues, or find a Youtube video mildly enjoyable. Just think, everytime you tell us about your second cousin’s graduation, or post a photo of a kitten talking jibberish, it’s worth cold hard cash, to someone else.

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