Posts tagged ‘Pegging’

February 15, 2011

How Not To Internet Date, 15 Feb. 2011

by Michelle Dee

Being a girl on a social networking site you learn really fast that you are a target for losers looking for a booty call. This is the case no matter what your relationship status. I found so much humor in this that I decided to create a singles profile on a dating website just to bait suckers like the one below. Please, enjoy the outcome!

leftyboy:
hi im Glenn

leftyboy:
good morn sweety i just read ur profile n it seems we r interested in some the same things hit me up if u wanna talk but b4 5 cuz i gotta worl btw im Glenn

Michelle Dee:
did you read the part where I hate text speech?

leftyboy:
yes i did wat u saying want a phone number lol!

Michelle Dee:
No I’m saying I like words to be spelled out or to translate foryou”No i’m saying I like wordz 2 b spelt out.”

leftyboy:
ok im sorry i got ya im a lil new at this whole dating site thing

Michelle Dee:
the dating site has nothing to do with one’s cognitive functions;)

leftyboy:
ok smarty pants i said ill type full words for you laugh out loud!

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December 23, 2010

My Sexcation

by Pseudonymous

I really wanted to sleep with a midget, just once in my lifetime.

It all started out innocently enough. I learned that prostitution was legal in Nevada, so long as it was outside the Las Vegas city limits. This got me thinking about one of my life goals, to have relations with a little person. As Nevada is not exactly within acceptable driving distance just to get a little ass I decided I would have to make a vacation out of it. My wife had been pushing me to book us a vacation anyhow. Yes, my wife. As any good woman should, she supports me in my life goals. She wants me to self-actualize, and if that means playing spin the midget on the cock then so-be-it.

So I placed a call to a favorably reviewed brothel, The Sex Buffet Loveranch. I advised them I had very specific fantastical needs, and inquired if they had any midget prostitutes. I was quickly corrected by the person on the other end, “We call them Dwarfitutes, sir!” Well, alright, call them whatever you want just tell me that you have one available for my demented fantasies. I was given information about their two Dwarfitutes, including web profiles with photos, specialties, etc. I quickly made my decision which one I preferred, and booked a few hours with her. The decision was an easy one, as I wanted to fuck a scaled-down chick, not one whose head was larger than my own, but on a 4 foot frame.

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