Posts tagged ‘Paul McCartney’

October 10, 2011

Haiku News, 10 October 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

—–

US Military Drones Infected With Mysterious Computer Virus

This is no surprise
to those of us who know what
drones do after dark.

—–

Paul McCartney, Nancy Shevell wed in London

Another marriage?
Lets hope that this one has
a leg to stand on.

—–

Zsa Zsa Gabor undergoes stomach surgery

Wait a damn minute.
You mean to tell me that this
bitch is still alive?

—–

Steve Jobs’ pancreatic cancer may have been diagnosed late

Diagnosed too late?
The real tragedy is that
there’s no app for that.

—–

How Obama’s data-crunching prowess may get him re-elected

Vote for Obama!
Why? It is simple really.
This MoFo knows math!

December 18, 2010

Love Letter to Phil Collins

by ANDREW HICKS

Dear Phil Collins,

I just got finished reading the feature about you in a recent issue of Rolling Stone. It said you don’t want to make music anymore–and you don’t even want anyone to call you Phil–because the “Phil Collins” we think we know is a hated public figure who is perceived as being uncool.

Well, the plain truth is, you ARE uncool. You’ve always been. It’s a big part of your appeal. Your voice, and the irresistable pop genius of much of your ’80s/early ’90s output is appealing, yes. But so, too, is your massive, glaring uncoolness.

You’ve got Noel Gallagher of Oasis making fun of you on the microphone at his concerts, but look, everyone makes fun of that dude, too. Embrace your Philness. There’s lots to love. For instance:

  • I love the saga of the “Bill Collins” character in the video for “I Wish It Would Rain Down.” Bill Collins is a fictional creation of Phil Collins who starts as a stage actor and becomes an enormously popular solo music star. The details of the life and career of Bill Collins are in no way related to those of Phil Collins. Also completely conjured up from thin air are the characters of Bichael Jackson, Bem-Cee Hammer and Balla Abdul in the video. Oh Phil, you’re such an imagineer.
  • Your sensitive but catchy ballad about the homeless, “Another Day in Paradise,” will always trigger the following memory in me: It’s a beautiful early summer day, I’m walking into the old Busch Stadium for a day game, and I notice a fenced-in outdoor patio area where people are stuffing their faces and drinking free beer. Right outside the fenced-in area of casual opulence, a homeless dude is digging through the trash. The piped-in soundtrack to all this? Your song “Another Day in Paradise,” blaring over the outdoor PA.

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