Posts tagged ‘New England’

September 19, 2011

Haiku News, 19 September 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

It's 'policy' when you take from the poor to keep the rich happy. It's 'warfare' when you take money from a millionaire who will still be a millionaire afterwards.

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Republicans Call Obama’s Tax Plan ‘Class Warfare’

Kill the middle class.
And then call the Kettle black.
Neo-Con trash Pots.

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New England faces possible pumpkin shortage

A Pumpkin shortage?
I bet it’s Peter. Peter
Damn Pumpkin Eater.

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Windows 8: What you need to know

Same as Win 7
with a fugly Start Menu.
The future is here.

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PlayStation Network Updates Protect Sony from Lawsuits

You can’t sue Sony.
I did not know my console
was an H.M.O.

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Exclusive: Lohan ‘Distressed’ By Bad Girl Reports

Left Rehab today.
Interview held in Night Club.
Don’t call me ‘Bad Girl.’

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US gamers crack puzzle in AIDS research that stumped scientists for years

Three-Hundred Fifty.
Is not only Gamer weight,
but I.Q. as well!

August 29, 2011

Haiku News, 29 August 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

I don't care how good she looks, or how drunk you are, DO NOT make babies with this Neanderthal Woman

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Hurricane Irene Leaves Thousands Without Power In Maryland

Hurricane Irene
If you must knock out power
Do so in D.C.

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Apple CEO Steve Jobs Stepping Down

Apple® without Jobs
Like Windows® without Blue-screen
Stable but ugly

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Hurricane Irene may test cell phone networks

Well at least in this
Economy, hurricanes
can still get a job

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Astronomers discover planet made of diamond

Planet of diamond?
In the cosmical street game
That’s baller-ass shit

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Sex with Neanderthals likely strengthened human immune system

Worked for us then, not
so much now. Neanderthals
now lower gene pool

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Lions impressive in preseason rout of New England

Obligatory
Sports article haiku here
Not even worth the brainpower to count syllables on the third line