Posts tagged ‘MTV’

June 27, 2011

Broken News, June 26, 2011

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by WOO

Ryan Dunn both drunk and speeding @ time of crash

Film recently obtained from MTV Productions, makers of Jackass, shows Dunn just before entering his vehicle for its fated rendezvous, making the statement, ‎”I’m Ryan Dunn, and this is Fatal Crash.”

What a Jackass…

New Android Phone Works Even After Bathing in Sweat

Finally, a phone women can carry around in nature’s holster, the underboob.

Now nothing has to stop for a text or Facebook status update. People will be swexting — having sloppy, sweaty sex, while also texting their buddies about how awesome or lousy it is. Who are we kidding; is sex ever bad for men?

While unable to reach anyone via phone for comment, we did receive a written statement from Sony Ericcson as follows: “Because Apple and iPhone refused to accept that 77% of their market was sweaty overweight men, we have developed the Xperia to cater exclusively to them. We look forward to shaking their clammy, fat hands.”

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March 28, 2011

3DSC, Day 8: Strangest song you’ve had sex to

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 8: STRANGEST SONG YOU’VE HAD SEX TO

The members of 2 Live Crew take a peek up Lady Liberty's sexy green robe.

SCOTTY HARRIS
Unprotected Sex With Multiple Partners” is the only song I ever listen to during sex. It’s a choice I made the very first time I never got laid.

SARACAKES
Proud To Be an American,” while fucking an Iraqi. Okay, not really, but I SO wish. Not only are those dudes pretty handsome, but they for the most part grow them some awesome flavor-savers. Nothing like tasting the tricklings of my own ladybits while he’s angrily pounding away. (“Where at least I know I’m free.”)

BUDDAH ESKEW
Sabbath Bloddy Sabbath” sure can darken the mood.

J.MIZ
During like sophomore year, a guy I was gaga over knew my buttons. So when he picked me up in his gold convertible, wearing a polka-dot silk shirt, eyebrow freshly notched, patent-leather metal toes shining — AND handed me two cans of MGD and threw on 2 Live Crew… ONCE AGAIN, ITS ON!
( DISCLAIMER: I was a vaginal virgin till college, but I still popped that coochie like a fucking rider, son.)

ANDREW HICKS
I have tracks from the ’60s on my iPod where Johnny Carson is being interviewed about comedy, and that always distracts me, because I’m trying to get down with the sex and can’t tune out the background noise. And Johnny’s saying shit that makes me think, so one part of the brain is like, “Go pinch the other nipple now,” and another part of the brain is like, “He’s right about timing. A half beat pause twice during the setup, then a beat and a half just before the meat of the punchline.”

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
Generally speaking, I’ve chosen the music for said encounters. I gotta think a song like “Short Dick Man” from 20 Fingers would be fairly upsetting though.

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December 12, 2010

Man You Guys Ain’t Even Funny Man

by KANYE WEST

Yo We’re Not Funny!

I’m really happy for you!

I’ma let you finish, but The Onion has one of the best comedy sites of all time.

One of the best comedy sites of all time!

*shrug*