Posts tagged ‘Justin Crouch’

October 29, 2011

Pop Music That Sucks: “I’m Yours”

by JUSTIN CROUCH
edited by ANDREW HICKS

Jason Mraz never goes anywhere without his guitar, his plain white T, his hat and his facial hair.

VOLUME 1: JASON MRAZ – “I’m Yours”

I get it. This is a great summer song, by which I mean it’s got that Look At the Quasi-Homeless Man Strumming His Acoustic Guitar On the Beach-type vibe to it. It fits Mraz’s personality perfectly, in other words.

The lyrics to this shit-gem don’t make much sense. Contradictions are everywhere. If “nothing’s gonna stop you but divine intervention,” Jason, then why do you “reckon it’s again your turn”? YOU DON’T WAIT FOR YOUR FUCKING TURN IF YOU’RE DEAD SET ON DOING SOMETHING, fuckwad. Another thing, Mraz: if you ‘won’t hesitate no more,’ then WHY for the love of Jesus Jones do you sing the song SO GODDAMN SLOW?! Keep in mind, people, these contradictions are just from the first verse.

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August 10, 2011

Celebrity Baby Names

  • Soupy Campbell, drag queen child of pie-in-the-face comedian Soupy Sales, launched his own line of soups and was promptly sued by Campbell's.

    Jesus Jonas

  • Peanut Eminem
  • Honey Fetchmea Colbert
  • We’reNot Stefani
  • Ginger Bush
  • Penny Cash
  • Rivers Cruise
  • HorseBefore des Cartes
  • Bronx Mowgli Staten Island Baloo Simpson Wentz
  • Tuch Downs
  • Charming Prinze Jr.
  • Iceberg Hardto Portman
  • Waylon Palin
  • Dee Thatcher
  • Forever Winehouse
  • Anal Spice
  • Dora Gore
  • Upper Downey Jr.
  • Tiny Danza
  • Bea White
  • Soupy Campbell
  • Favor Trader
  • Googoo Gaga
  • Illiterate Letterman
  • Ben Itration Affleck
  • Double Depp
  • Sponge Werthers
  • Imasofuckin Hammer

CONTRIBUTORS: Justin Crouch, Michelle Dee, Eric Dohman, Tony Fyler, Andrew Hicks, Eve Ventrella and Woo

edited by ANDREW HICKS