Posts tagged ‘Grammar’

September 22, 2011

What Does That Euphemism Really Mean? #3

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

Conjugal Visit: A tutoring session for grammar, specifically verbs.

Oooooh yeah! Look at them freaky nasty verbs gettin it on!

Supreme Sacrifice: When you have to give up pizza night to use the money for your kid’s school project.

Shoot Blanks: Tae Bo never worked for me anyway.

Taking A Dirt Nap: What that third union worker is doing over there under the shady tree.

Turn A Trick: I paid $35 for this hooker, I’m damn sure hittin’ it from the front and the back.

Well Hung: Descriptive of level paintings and other artwork.

Sniffing The Maple: At least that’s what your mom calls it.

Hand Over The Coals: No, seriously, hand ’em over. Fucking coal thief.

Hiring A Russian: It’s the in thing right now, they’re so economical.

Cloning The Mammoth: *Insert yo’ momma joke*

The Departed: Great god damned movie!

Talk To A Man About A “Horse”: What Kevin Smith had to do before filming Clerks 2.

Sleep Around: What bums do.

April 23, 2011

Simple English

by WOO

  • Shouldn’t words look more like what they are? Shouldn’t Mirror be MirrororriM?
  • “I” before “E” except aft… No! FUCK YOU!
  • What do you have to do to make the sound “onomatopoeia”?
  • I don’t use no double negatives just for the attention.
  • There are English words meant to confuse because they’re all alike in their sound.
  • If you have more sense than a gnat, you would know when to use then.
  • If I see another person refer to multiple homicides as a “cereal” killing I am going to serially rape them in the earhole.
  • You cannot graduate an entity. You graduate FROM it. The same goes for released. You don’t graduate college, and you don’t get released prison. You graduate from college, and are released from prison.