Posts tagged ‘Euphemism’

October 3, 2011

Haiku News, 3 October 2011

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

—–

California prevents ban on male circumcision

Nothing to fear here.
You are free as a bee to
chop off your cock sock.

—–

Suspicious package probed on Biden brother’s road

Suspicious package?
Ha! Is that a euphemism?
Probe this here package!

—–

Battlefield 3 Beta Impressions

Ooh, very shiny.
Shoot people and cuss on chat.
Please pass the Cheetos.

—–

Kanye West’s Fashion Show ‘Monumental,’ Ciara Says

‘Imma’ let you finish,
But seriously Kanye,
you make clothing now?

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Will Earth Be Struck By Massive Asteroid? Probably Not

Probably not, huh?
This news is as useless as
this fucking Haiku.

—–

Dead bee mystery has state officials buzzing

Buzzing? Are you for real?
Bee’s and Buzzing. Ha ha ha!
See what you did there!

—–

Occupy Wall Street Day 13, October 2, 2011

Grab your damn pitch-fork,
And fire up the propane grill.
Time to eat the rich.

September 8, 2011

What Does That Euphemism Really Mean?

by CHRISTOPHER WOO

A House Of Ill Repute. When visiting be sure to wear your blue dress, and bring cigars.

Adult Entertainment: The enjoyment parents get at watching their children suffer through life just like they did.

Asleep With Jesus: Literal; You should really keep track of your wife. And the Gardner.

Au Natural: What you get when you forget to put the cheese packet on your Stouffer’s Au Gratin Potatoes.

Bit The Big One: He won’t even return her phone calls.

Bought The Farm: Addicted to Facebook games.

Carnal Knowledge: Intimacy with a carnival worker.

Crossed Over To The Other Side: Fucking swing voters!

Disinformation: What you are reading right now.

Ethnic Cleansing: Equal-opportunity public showers.

Friendly Fire: The kind you camp near, or have a beer around.

Give Up The Ghost: A conversion to atheism.

Hide The Sausage: Literal; Usually it’s still in the refrigerator, just tucked in with the vegetables in the crisper.

House Of Ill Repute: The White House, post-Clinton.