Posts tagged ‘Eazy E’

July 26, 2011

Famous Last Words

by ERIC DOHMAN, WOO and WNF STAFF WRITERS
edited by ANDREW HICKS

"Hurry! Call 911! Act now! Call 911" -Billy Mays

  • “Is that Bubbles?” “No.” “I meant in the syringe.” –Michael Jackson
  • ‎”What the fuck, Brutus?” –Julius Caesar
  • ‎”Maybe I shoulda just eaten that donut.” –Karen Carpenter
  • “Always left, left, left. Let’s see what happens if I go right for a change.” – Dale Earnhardt
  • ‎”Delete all my texts from that black chick.” –Thomas Jefferson
  • ‎”Fuck, I forgot the eyebrows.” –Leonardo DaVinci
  • ‎”I’m on a horse!” –Christopher Reeve
  • “Maybe I was TOO easy?” -Eazy E
  • “Birds. I dedicated my life to a bunch of fucking birds.” –J.J. Audubon
  • ‎”A Tyson fight? I am SO there! Just let me finish this 827 hours of recording time, that’ll in no way fuel rumors that I faked my death by continuing to release CDs posthumously. -Tupac Shakur
  • ‎”If the casket fit… oh… oh shit.” -Johnnie L. Cochran Jr.
  • “O.J., that knife is too big to cut up veggies.” –Nicole Brown Simpson
  • “That white light’s way too small for me to fit through.” –Andre the Giant
  • ‎”I’m still alive, FUCKER!” –Betty White
July 16, 2011

Lost Rock Concept Collaborations

edited by ANDREW HICKS
creatively conceived by ERTEL GRAY and SARACAKES

Metallica scores movie starring Kermit and Miss Piggy: MASTER OF MUPPETS.

Woody Allen writes lyrics for Madonna album: NEUROTICA.

Courtney Love and Jonathan Davis hit the road: THE KORN/HOLE TOUR.

Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham’s album tribute to dance fads: FLEETWOOD MACARENA.

On the road with Styx and The Stones: THE WE’LL BREAK YOUR BONES TOUR.

Snoop Dogg’s long-awaited children’s album: HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGYSTYLE IN THE WINDOW?

Britney Spears covers Pink Floyd: COMFORTABLY DUMB.

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March 14, 2011

3DSC, Day 1: Song that makes you feel the most gangster

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’re like us, your Facebook feed has been flooded with people participating in the 30 Day Song Challenge. And if you’re also like us, you love music but don’t want to answer questions like, “What song do you listen to you when you’re sad?” and, “If your poodle was a Gloria Estefan song, which one would it be?” So we’re doing our own 30-day music challenge, with our own questions, and we invite you to contribute your own picks to our comments section below.

THE WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 1: SONG THAT MAKES YOU FEEL THE MOST GANGSTER

J.MIZ
“Whats My Name” by DMX gets me hype. I used to bump the shit out of Gangsta Boo‘s “What U N*%#$z Want From a Bitch” in my Acura while driving to my job at a high-end private government hotel in my wool suit. THUG LYFE!

Before he was famous, Warren G used to get paid $4.80 an hour to make sure that streetlight didn't fall over.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
For me, it’s absolutely “Regulate” by Warren G and Nate Dogg. First, it starts off with a speech taken from Young Guns, a movie for which I have unabashed love. Second, this song came out while I was in high school. Two of my fellow Burger King coworkers at the time were gangster types. Now, you need to keep in mind that this came from the perspective of a Whitey McWhite guy who had just moved from Minnesota, where we the only black people I saw were on TV. So, in my mind, any black guy older than me who liked rap music and didn’t finish high school may as well have been an extra in Boyz in the Hood. Working the night shift, we’d throw Warren G in the CD player (resisting temptation to say “boombox”), and by the end of the summer, I had every cut on that album down cold. Definitely the thuggest time of my life.

DRIFT ROBERTS
I used to wrestle, and my introductory music — Simon and Garfunkel‘s “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)” — got me all hyphy and shit. Barbra Streisand‘s “People” does it for me too.

ANDREW HICKS
For me, it’s 2Pac and Digital Underground, “I Get Around.” The second that beat drops, I become Al Capone in M.C. Hammer pants. I hope to live long enough to see this song exist on karaoke so I can tommygun my way through all three rappers’ verses.

J.MIZ
“Hail Mary” on 2Pac‘s alter ego CD causes me immediate vaginal sealing and penile growth. But I have to follow up with “Fuck the World” to complete the transformation with a set of full-functioning testicles.

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