Posts tagged ‘Drunk’

June 27, 2011

Broken News, June 26, 2011

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by WOO

Ryan Dunn both drunk and speeding @ time of crash

Film recently obtained from MTV Productions, makers of Jackass, shows Dunn just before entering his vehicle for its fated rendezvous, making the statement, ‎”I’m Ryan Dunn, and this is Fatal Crash.”

What a Jackass…

New Android Phone Works Even After Bathing in Sweat

Finally, a phone women can carry around in nature’s holster, the underboob.

Now nothing has to stop for a text or Facebook status update. People will be swexting — having sloppy, sweaty sex, while also texting their buddies about how awesome or lousy it is. Who are we kidding; is sex ever bad for men?

While unable to reach anyone via phone for comment, we did receive a written statement from Sony Ericcson as follows: “Because Apple and iPhone refused to accept that 77% of their market was sweaty overweight men, we have developed the Xperia to cater exclusively to them. We look forward to shaking their clammy, fat hands.”

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January 11, 2011

Comedy In Purgatory: Hell Gigs

by Andrew King

Every comedian I know has a great story of a really bad gig. The better ones have several. Hell Gigs are a rite of passage in the comedian community, an integral part of the journey of being a stand-up comic. There are many ingredients to a Hell Gig, they can have a combination of,  or all of these things:

[_] Heckler (You suck!)

[_] Oblivious/Bad Audience (What? Comedians? WTF is a comedian?)

[_] Awkward Set-Up (So here’s a milk-crate you can stand on… What? No, the TV’s will still be on.)
Now this particular gig had all of the above…

It was a benefit show for a guy who had cancer. I say “had” because he died before the show. So the benefit changed goals and now the proceeds would be going to a cancer charity. The show itself took place outside of a biker bar in East Moline, Illinois. Already there are enough signs to know that it’s going to be rough.

The stage was a Semi-truck’s flatbed trailer. There was a ladder nailed to it so you could get onto it. The trailer faced the brick wall of the bar and the audience was at an angle eating curly fries. I’ll try to illustrate below:

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