Posts tagged ‘Dick’

June 13, 2011

Woo’s News, June 13, 2011

by WOO

US Scores Three More Insider-Trading Convictions

There are criminals on Wall Street. Who fucking knew?

Vancouver’s Lapierre finds success to the max after leaving Ducks

Wait… this is about hockey? Can’t seem to give a shit…

Facebook IPO seen moving ahead in first quarter

So a nerd found out how to make money off of people posting status updates every time the weather changes by two degrees, they eat dinner, suffer gastrointestinal issues, or find a Youtube video mildly enjoyable. Just think, everytime you tell us about your second cousin’s graduation, or post a photo of a kitten talking jibberish, it’s worth cold hard cash, to someone else.

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May 1, 2011

Dicks: A Song About Sausage Fests

Paul Lao is himself a dick.

by PAUL LAO
edited by ANDREW HICKS

[To the tune of any piece-of-shit song by Papa Roach]

VERSE 1
This place is so great, there is so much beer.
Alright Mikey, we’ll walk around
If you and I split up we’ll cover more ground
In a half an hour we’ll try and meet here
Once we find girls we’ll probably find more beer
Oh, wait a minute, I’ve become out of touch
There’s something amiss, there’s something too much.
A guy over here, a guy over there
OMG, what a nightmare!
I hope this is some kind of trick
’cause I think we are surrounded by DICK.

CHORUS
Dicks! Dicks! Dicks!
I’m sick of looking at pricks
Dicks! Dicks! Dicks!
These are horrible statistics.
You know that there is a confounding factor
One obvious detractor
That that none of us can fix
It’s the incredible population of dicks! Dicks! Dicks!

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