Posts tagged ‘Bars’

November 9, 2011

The Majesty of Karaoke

by ERTEL GRAY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

Karaoke: Where the world's most attractive people huddle together and scream beautifully into a microphone.

“For every failed singer in this world, there is a karaoke DJ eating his weight in hot wings by dim light.”
-Voltaire

The ancient Japanese art of karaoke has never really seemed to hit its zenith in America. Even today, every bar you go to has at least one karaoke night on its chalkboard schedule, nestled between $2 Pitcher Tuesday and Thirsty Thursday.

So what’s the appeal? For every Joe Average, maybe it’s the dream of wooing a lady friend with a mystical version of Peter Frampton‘s “Baby, I Love Your Way.” In reality, the alcohol involved always seems to transform Frampton’s ode to loving a female’s way into a horribly off-key, off-rhythm “‘OohbabeeILove…’ where am I? The damn screen’s moving too fast. Where’s Brenda at? Get up here, y’whore! ‘WannaTeeellYou…'”

Karaoke, at its crux, is basic good fun. No one’s there to judge your performance. Oh sure, that guy who just threw up on his shirt sorta looks like Simon Cowell, but remember: you’re wearing beer goggles. I lied about the “no one’s judging you” thing, actually. If you’re singing, you should be aware that I am judging you based on pitch, vocal range and choice of material. I am your own… personal… Cowell.

But you’re not going to win a recording contract and/or make millions with me. I’m judging you solely because I don’t want to make the same mistakes you do. Recently, I made plans to go out with a girl (yeah, I was surprised, too) who absolutely loves to sing. And apparently displays the same lack of shame that I do. A keeper? After tonight’s debacle? Right? (Right!) You’re bloody well right!

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January 21, 2011

Comedy In Purgatory: Ωpen Mics

by ANDREW KING

Open mics: the Alpha and Omega of stand up comedy. It’s where every comedian starts, and I have no doubt that it’s where several comedians have called it their end. An open mic has the ability to make you feel invincible, giving a high like no other. It can also crush your soul and make you doubt every decision you’ve ever made. Now, performing in general already can have those results, but with open mics… you’re doing it for free.

Here in Purgatory, where the majority of open mics are for musicians who want you to hear their brilliant covers they spent a couple of afternoons learning, comedy is considered alien, and it is often ignored. On the other side of that, however, is a great feeling of accomplishment if you can actually win the crowd. It’s not easy by any means, and depending on the location, the odds are heavily stacked against you. But it is possible.

There are different types of open mics:
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Bar Open Mics

Found here are TV’s blaring, people playing pool, drunks arguing over sports teams and more. Oh, and don’t forget the jukebox. What’s more fun than trying to win over a crowd who’s trying to drink away sorrows, the abandonment of dreams, or just another day at the office/coal mine? Trying to win over said crowd while the Ghostbusters theme is playing in the background.

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