Kim Jong Dead

edited by ANDREW HICKS

Once he'd stared into his right hand for an hour or so without blinking, Kim Jong's hand would turn into Satan and give him relationship advice.

AMANDA DOPPLER
Who the fuck is Kim Jong Il, and why is he dead?!

ERTEL GRAY
Kim Jong Il dead? Man, and I thought he was just ill. Turns out I was dead Jong.

JEFF BAILEY
Kim Jong, are you serious?! This is seriously fucking my fantasy dictator team. It’s the playoffs!

ERIC DOHMAN
Weekend at Kim Jong’s. Now THAT would be funny.

OLDFUNNYJOKER
Kim Jong Il is dead. I guess that’s the end of his Korea.

J.MIZ
Wait! Kim Jong Il WASN’T a puppet?!

ALAN PERRY
Kim Jong Il died, but the headliner killed.

CARLOS VALENCIA
First Patrice O’Neal, now Great Leader Kim Jong Il. It’s a sad year for comedy.

JOHNNY RODRIGUEZ
Kim Jong Il sucks for breaking up The Beatles.

BUDDAH ESKEW
Korean flag at half-mast at all Long Jong Silvers in Korea this week.

ALAN PERRY
I will always remember Kim Jong Il ringing the bell on “Fantasy Island.”

JESS NORTON
Just when we thought Kim John Il couldn’t get any sexier? HE DIED AT THE AGE OF 69! wackajoewackajoewackajoewacka

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