New Facebook Slogans

Facebook - Because you can't throw a sheep on Twitter.

Facebook – Share the stuff you care about with people you mostly don’t.

Facebook – When the world needs to know you’ve farted, accept no substitute!

Facebook – Yep, I still have only one black friend.

Facebook – Porn intermission.

Facebook – Accidentally letting your boss know you think he’s a douche has never been easier.

Facebook – Proving one good profile pic can make any woman popular.

Facebook – Where attention seeking mothers come to ignore their kids.

Facebook – Dear stalkers: You’re welcome.

Facebook – Where you can pretend you have 400 friends.

Facebook – Check out these ugly people’s ugly kids!

Facebook – It’s on the computer, so it looks like you’re working!

Facebook – Answering the question, “Whose birthday can I not give a shit about today?”

Facebook – Where socially anxious people can still be social.

Facebook – Completely obsolete since 2013.

Facebook – Whiny bitches unite!

Facebook – Where the only good bird is an angry bird.

Facebook – Because digging through your trash was getting way too messy.

Facebook – Come for the updates, stay for the quizzes!

Facebook – For when real life is just too real.

Facebook – “I just need two eggs and a plow repair kit. Come on, you guys!”

Facebook – Where old people go to be hip, only to still fail by flooding your wall with flash game invites.

Facebook Mobile – Because you don’t always have a book in the shitter.

Facebook – Where underemployed comedians go to get validation.

EDITED BY: Andrew Hicks
UNDEREMPLOYED COMEDIANS: Michelle Dee, Eric Dohman, James Draper, Tony Fyler, Andrew Hicks, Scotty Harris, Eve Ventrella, Woo

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