A Pothead Speaks: Why Marijuana Should NOT Be Legalized

by KB MARION
edited by ANDREW HICKS and WOO

It's a quick leap from legalization to corporatization. But there won't be any Dollar Menu for weed.

I absolutely cannot stand the progressive mentality. Progress is not always the best thing for society. Take, for instance, the Internet. Yes, it allows us to download free music and keep up with the latest ever-so-important celebrity gossip, but the web is also a widespread tool for degenerates with an exorbitant amount of resources. Prior to the Internet, you could always tell the perverts by their wiry grin, ’70s mustache and windowless van. Well, unfortunately, progressivism is butting its ugly head into my stash. There is a movement to legalize marijuana, and as a weed smoker, I am against it.

Many people have stated that the marijuana crop will help with our nation’s deficit. However, for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction (or so I’ve heard). Proponents of legalization are idealistic and too trusting of the American government. Anything that has value in the United States always garner greedy lobbyists who ruin it for everyone except the few who would benefit — in this case, Wall Street and the would-be corporate growers. This is already occurring in California, where medical marijuana growers helped vote down the legalization bill. Nope, marijuana ain’t just for hippies anymore. Our beloved green has been going corporate, and this is just the beginning.

Inflation will drive the good strands even higher. There is nothing worse than smoking terrible weed. It’s the stoner’s equivalent of blue balls. There is a brief hint of pleasure, then it lets you right down, like constantly getting to second base and never coming within yards of home plate. That is why, even during the current recession, people buy good strands of weed. People may be buying in smaller amounts, but it’s deemed “worth it” for the high that is achieved. Quality over quantity.

If the government and corporations became involved with the production of marijuana, just imagine the increase in price of Kush and ‘Dro. If potheads wanted to pay a ridiculous amount for their drugs, they’d develop habits for coke. Or heroin. Or ecstasy. Or prescription pills. What? Insurance is expensive.

Not only will the price of strands go up, but it will also cut out a relationship and bond that cannot be broken — the rapport a smoker has with his or her beloved pot dealer. For now we will just call our dealer Bobby. Bobby is always willing to strike deals that would not happen at your local Jewel if corporations took over the marijuana industry.

Now, if corporations took over the industry, which they would, how is Bobby supposed to supplement his income? Seriously! The farming industry has become huge, but it has also taken away many people’s livelihood since going corporate. Ask yourself, when was the last time you met a real farmer? I will wait patiently while you scan your brain… See? You couldn’t think of one because a majority of farmers have been bought by corporations who mass-produce inferior crops and trap farmers into indentured servitude. We’ve turned our backs on corn and damn near every other food; let us not do it to our beloved weed, too!

I do think that we need to stop demonizing weed, and stop the incarceration of people who possess Mother Earth’s beautiful bud. However, the legalization of marijuana would lead to a complete corporate overhaul of the delicious green that would leave its most loyal consumers, well, dopesick.

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