"A Fool And His Money Are Easily Parted." Very easily, I assume, as I don't even remember having any money.

by WOO

“A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand.” Unless it was just a double-wide mobile home being moved.

“A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush.” A dick in the hand isn’t getting any ‘bush.’ That’s why it’s in the hand.

“A Leopard Can’t Change His Spots.” Which is very unfortunate for the summer fashion season.

“You Can’t Judge A Book By Its Cover.” You can, however, judge its author.

“You Are What You Eat.” Perhaps someone should explain to you what douchebags are actually for?

“It’s All Greek To Me.” This is the tendency I have to tell you to “shove it up a horses ass” when you say something I find confusing.

“A Knee-Jerk Reaction.” This explains my violent crotch-crushing actions when someone is being an ass.

“Cross Your Fingers.” It’s the #1 defense against vampires, heathens and Glenn Beck fans.

“Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth.” There might be Greeks in there!

“Drive Someone Up The Wall.” Dale Earnhart Sr. does not appreciate the use of this idiom.

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