Show Me Your String: A WNF rap anthem

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS (sorry, mom)

[Track built around a sample of Nena’s “99 Red Balloons”]

LIL DICK:
I saw this one bitch with a shine in her eye
I said, “Fuck me bitch, or I’m gonna make you cry”
She said, “I can’t do it, as much as I want,
“Sorry Cat Daddy, it’s my time of the month”
I called that bitch lyin’, and she started up and cryin’
I said, “Then prove that thing! Bitch, show me your string!”

CHORUS:
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
Bitch, show me your string

OSTEOFEROCIOUS:
Babysitter shows up and it’s time to go clubbin’
But before I leave I’m gonna need some clit rubbin’
I offer her an extra twenty bucks to do me right
But she looks sheepish, and she says, “Not tonight”
I said, “I’ll make it 40, baby, let’s get it on ”
She said, “Uh uh, mister man, I got this tampon”
Now I’m holdin’ my cock over this nowhere fling
Thought I had it made until she showed me her string

CHORUS:
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
(WAILING R+B CHICK: Shoooooowww meeeeeeeee)
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
Bitch, show me your string
(WAILING R+B CHICK: Yoooooooooo striiiiiiiiiiing)

KING LA QUEEFA:
This dirty ho bitch didn’t wear no drawers
She said, “Fuck it daddy, you know it’s yours”
So I yanked that shit, ripcord-style
And she rode my dick for a pussy 8 mile
There was blood on my dick, there was blood on my chest
Her eyes were rolling back when she said, “You’re the best!”
I felt that girl’s spitch running all down my cock
Then I bent her over and we started to rock

CHORUS
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
(WAILING R+B CHICK: I’m gonna show youuuuuuuuuuuuuu…)
Show me your string
Show me your string
Show me your string
Bitch, show me your string
(WAILING R+B CHICK: My striiiiiieeeeeyiiiiiiieeeeeyiiiiiing…)

HASSLE HOFFA:
She pulled a Stephen King, gettin’ all REDRUMmy
I tasted Miss Dracula’s coagulated honey
Got friendly wit’ her flo’ like a shark gettin’ chummy
She asked ME to shower first, man now ain’t THAT funny?
It looked like Scarface, Carrie and Saw
I knew the ho was down when she started to gnaw
All around my dick like a cherry pot pie
I finally had enough so I shot it in her eye
The point of my story, girl it ain’t no thing
Imma still fuck if you show me dat string

[Beat abruptly spins down and changes to “Chain Hang Low”]

CHILDREN’S CHOIR:
Do yo’ string hang low?
When you chillin’ with Aunt Flo?
Do it rub up on your chode?
Is it cotton or pure gold?
Is it a whole foot long?
Like a really skinny thong?
Do yo’ string. Hang. Low?

[Back to original beat]

CHORUS:
Show me your string
Show me your string
(LIL DICK: There aint no racism in pullin’ strings)
Show me your string
Show me your string
(LIL DICK: Cuz no matter what goes in it comes out a red thing)
Show me your string
Show me your string
(OSTEOFEROCIOUS: She said, “Unfuckable is in the eye of the beholder”)
Show me your string
Show me your string
(OSTEOFEROCIOUS: So I stuck my bloody dick in her mouf just to scold her)
Show me your string
Show me your string
(KING LA QUEEFA: I tap that ass regardless fam)
Show me your string
Show me your string
(KING LA QUEEFA: Around the way they call me Red Kool-Aid Man)

CONTRIBUTORS: Woo, J.Miz, Andrew Hicks and Buddah Eskew

[EDITOR’S NOTE: All proceeds from this post will go towards research on the prevention of Toxic Shock Syndrome. For more information on proper tampon application, click here. -AH]

2 Comments to “Show Me Your String: A WNF rap anthem”

  1. Toxic Shock Syndrome – A condition which every non-single male in the world knows about, thanks to a serious lack of literature in restrooms.

    • I bring my own reading material when I drop anchor, but when I’m standing there, brushing my teeth, yes I sometimes read the fine print on the feminine hygiene products.

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