51 rejected rapper names

by BUDDAH ESKEW
edited by ANDREW HICKS

Not Buddah

Not to be outdone by Woo’s post “50 dance songs that are euphemisms for masturbation,” I have compiled a list of 51 rejected rapper names. These are coulda-been MC names for Buddah the rapper. Debut CD title with songlist to follow. A poll was conducted by Buddah’s crack staff (by that, I mean my staff is on crack) of homeless men, hookers, third-shift grocery store stockers, albino midgets, neighborhood cats and Al Gore. He invented the Internet, ya know.

51. Neosporin

52. Yobama

9. Vanilla Extract

43. Teriyaki Daddy

45. Gabe Vigoda

44. Booger Flicka

32. Bazooka Jo Jo

48. Busta Braids

12. Dicktabulous

33. $1.25

11. Pop-Tart

22. The Antichrist

23. Black Guy Pee

24. Tea Baggy

25. Chicken Gumbo

26. Chips-N-Salsa

27. Antacid

28. Cocoa Puff Daddy

29. Geritol

30. Sit-N-Spin

31. Cow Tippa

7.  Pall Mall

21. Butt Crustacious

50. Hevee Ekwipmint

17. Jell-O Mold

20. LL Fool J

36. The Crisco Kid

49. Blue Ballz

35. Step Daddy

40. Zimbalta

47. Tootsie (thatsjusthowI) Roll

4. Oral-B

13. Buddahcris

20. Pocket Pussy

33. Hassle Hoffa

37. Dr. Dreidel

38. Donald Dry Hump

39. Hitler Killz

16. Walt Disney

14. Diaper Rash

7.  Dead in Da Street

12. Toaster Strudel

46. Shaquille O’Kneel

41. Hott Pokket

34. Notorious P.I.G.

3. Preparation H

34. German Chocolate

19. Mangina

6. Downz Syndrome

14. Special KKK

15. Hepatitis C-Note

16. Flapjack-N-Sausage

10. Amish Presley

8. Ball Jelly Nelly

18. Rumple Foreskin

13. Uncle Slacker

6. King La Queefa

5. Frisky Phuka

2. Lil Dick

1. Osteoferocious

I may also have consulted my 19-year-old son, my physician, fifth grade math teacher and Shop-N-Save before completing this list. The search for my new rapper name is still on as soon as I can get Al Gore off of the crack and hookers. Peace out.

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