3DSC, Day 10: Favorite song whitey took over from people of color

edited by ANDREW HICKS
creatively conceived by J.MIZ

WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 10: FAVORITE SONG WHITEY TOOK OVER FROM PEOPLE OF COLOR

Rihanna launched her own line of umbrellas, on sale at Macys. For real.

J.MIZ
I still love every single cover of the song “Umbrella” by Rihanna, written by Ne-Yo. (Do I get bonus points because its a twofer nab?)

TRACY SAINDON
White Lines,” Duran Duran.

ANDREW HICKS
That song belongs to the white man outright. It’s about coke, the Caucasianest drug this side of crystal meth.

TRACY SAINDON
How bout Cee-Lo‘s “Forget You” done by Gwyneth?

ANDREW HICKS
I love Bob Marley, but I think Clapton did a better “I Shot the Sheriff.”

TRACY SAINDON
Ah, Marley… so definitely “Waiting in Vain” by Annie Lennox.

J.MIZ
Annie Lennox = albino. Tracy wins everything. Ain’t nobody more of a whitey than good ole Annie Lennox.

ANDREW HICKS
Annie also fathered more children than Marley.

J.MIZ
There was a country cover of Tony Rich‘s “Nobody Knows” that I actually enjoyed. Meaning, I didn’t want to deafen myself with pinking shears while it was on. But like “Umbrella,” a good song’s a good song.

ANDREW HICKS
I’ve heard that Tony Rich meets Big and Rich shit. It wasn’t bad. I also kinda like John Michael Montgomery‘s version of “I Swear.”

J.MIZ
Wasn’t “I Swear” the Backstreet Boys? Not the Black, Street Boys…

ANDREW HICKS
It was All-4-One. There were at least two black guys and a brown guy in that group. Damn.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
I’ll come up with something funny, but the White Stripes pull off an epic cover of Robert Johnson’s “Stop Breaking Down.”

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Jeff never came back to us with anything funny for this topic.]

J.MIZ
There’s this French chick, Madeleine Peyroux, who’s a jazz singer. The first three times I heard her, I thought it was some Billie Holiday I’d never heard, and I’ve been a fan since I was 12. If a white girl can issue G passes, she gets one from me. Hopefully, the Gs will honor it.

MICHELLE DEE
Conversely, we should do Favorite Song Puffy Ripped Off (“IT’S THE REMIX!”).

J.MIZ
Harry Connick, Jr. pulls off a lot of old jazz. And the pannies of many, many white bitches. I feel like that “sexual chocolate” scene in Coming To America (“Dat boy is GOOD!”).

ANNE GARDNER
Geto Boys‘ “Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta.”

ANDREW HICKS
I didn’t know “Damn It Feels Good” was a remake. Or that the Geto Boys were white. Adult education?

ANNE GARDNER
I was more thinking that it became white man’s property because of its use in Office Space. I didn’t know there needed to be a formal remake :)

ANDREW HICKS
Ohhh, sorry Anne. I need some adult education. I do this shit to my wife like twice a day. Nothing like fundamentally unsound condescension to get a man sleeping on the couch. Your answer makes perfect sense. I will slink off now, looking like a right bastard.

J.MIZ
No eye contact.

ANDREW HICKS
Episodes like this are why I do that simplified overexplaining of shit that you make fun of, J.Miz. Just in case there is someone reading who’s just as much of a moron as me. It’s an attempt at public service, plus I just like to hear myself talk. In fact, I’m doing it. Right. Now.

J.MIZ
Hahaha. Nah, I was “huh” for a sec, but I only associate “Damn It Feels Good” with Office Space now. Peter Gibbons did have “black friends,” though, so hmmm… tough call.

Peter, Paul and Mary: Whiteness personified in triumvirate.

SARACAKES
So, “Kumbaya” was originally written and sung in a Creole dialect. The whiteys have no doubt bastardized it into a S’mores-smacking, holly-jolly campfire song. Apparently, the song ventured through the American folk music scene after being picked up from the South, having been studio-recorded by several artists, including Joan Baez and Peter, Paul, and Mary. The most current version finds it in the hands of a German band by the name of Guano Ape, with whose video I have become fascinated. Interestingly enough, the song also references several other songs originally written and performed by peoples of various brown-skinnedness. Which brings me to my point: I always trust the musical prodigies of the Nu-Metal genre to deliver classic Negro favorites in a new flavor that tickles my soul on a level the original versions originally achieved.

ANDREW HICKS
You don’t get much more Whitey Took Over than being covered by Joan Baez and Peter, Paul and Mary.

SARACAKES
Not to mention being remixed in the Land of Hitler.

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