3DSC, Day 9: Song to play at someone you dislike’s funeral

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS


WNF SONG CHALLENGE, DAY 9
BEST SONG TO PLAY AT SOMEONE YOU DISLIKE’S FUNERAL

SARACAKES

A happy sea lion, celebrating his promotion at work, seconds before being chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane.

The Lion Sleeps Tonite,” at the funeral of some baby sea lions. (“A-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way, a-wee-ma-way…”) Cute and/or endangered animals seem a safe way to go.

ANDREW HICKS
It’s always cool to make fun of dead baby sea lions.

J.MIZ
Wouldn’t “In Da Club” by 50 Cent be apropos for dead baby seals as well?

BUDDAH ESKEW
My mother in-law. “Another One Bites the Dust.”

LINDSAY HARTLEY
I Hate Everyone” from Say Anything. Because… I fucking hate you.

J.MIZ
I grew up in Joliet, Ill. We had a lot of bridges. They scared me. So, for my driver’s ed teacher, who I’m sure broke eight laws a week and made me take ALL the bridges — suck on some Fergie as your send-off, you sick sadist fuck.

SARACAKES
I would say Pink Floyd‘s “Money” at Paris Hilton’s funeral, if “Money” weren’t such an amazing song. I’m not sure there is much to explain there conceptually, and don’t give me that do-goody-good bullshit. I wish Pink Floyd could’ve worked in a reference to bad sex tapes. Wikipedia touts this: “[Paris] is an example of the modern phenomenon of the ‘celebutante,’ the celebrity who rises to fame not because of their talent or work but because of their inherited wealth and controversial lifestyle.” Dumb American.

J.MIZ
At the funeral of my ex, whom I’ll call Douche Face, I’d like to play some Incubus, “Wish You Were Here” and start a mosh pit where the crowd chats, “NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT!” Wayne’s World-style.

JESS NORTON
Had a best friend who turned out to be a cunty sort of girl. And she had an irrational fear of E.T., so I would love to play the theme from E.T. at her funeral.

J.MIZ
Even worse… play the theme from the knockoff remake of E.T. made by the Turkish… *shudders*

SARACAKES
Harry Belafonte, “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song),” at the funeral of dead baby vampire mountain gorillas.

J.MIZ
Shouldn’t “Day-O” be for that moment they trash the stale donuts? But bums love it. In their heads they hear “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers.

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