3DSC, Day 7: Song you love by an artist you hate

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS


Rupert Holmes: Not much into yoga.

WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 7: SONG YOU LOVE BY AN ARTIST YOU HATE

RYAN KRAUSE
Rupert Holmes with “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).”

ANDREW HICKS
Krause, that’s the only song Rupert Holmes ever put out. Rupert Holmes IS “Escape.” It’s like, “I hate cash, but I love dollar bills.”

RYAN KRAUSE
He really only had one song and one song only?

ANDREW HICKS
As far as history is concerned, yes.

RYAN KRAUSE
Then he is the greatest artist EVER.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
Tuesday’s Gone” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I love the song but consider everything else from Skynyrd to be one long-running national anthem of the NASCAR-watching, Waffle House-as-fine-dining-referring-to, squirrel-hunting, sibling-fucking, Confederate flag-waving-with-no-sense-of-perspective-having, Redman-chewing, Piggly Wiggly-shopping, inbred country fucks of the American South. No offense to any Skynyrd fans on the forum… I’m just saying.

P.S. The phrase “I’m just saying” gives an individual the divine right to express anything he or she wants without any consequences or repercussions.

J.MIZ
Head Like a Hole,” or wtf eva it’s called. I think Trent Reznor is a hack. I hate his respiratory system. And just typing that I like that song makes me want to puke in my mouth a bit.

JAMES DRAPER
There are a handful of songs by Michael Jackson and The Beatles that I like. Neither of whom I care for.

J.MIZ
Draper with the fucking Vaguebooking. Look out, Casey and Carson — Draper’s going for your post as music expert.

ANDREW HICKS
I used to HATE Rod Stewart with a passion, but I freakin’ loved his remake of “This Old Heart of Mine” with Ron Isley. I think it started with the video, where those hot models with the short-haired wigs and white lipstick were wearing see through shower curtain dresses. Anyway, I’d gotten over my hate for Rod Stewart right around the time he started dropping those American Songbook remake albums. Rod’s version of “Love Train” is possibly the worst. remake. ever.

J.MIZ
Wasnt that Heavy D? And weren’t those guys in clear pants?

ANDREW HICKS
“The Boyz.”

SONG CHALLENGE OUTTAKE: SONG WHOSE LYRICS ARE PATENTLY FALSE

ANDREW HICKS
How about “Big Girls Don’t Cry“? I’ve made PLENTY of big girls cry.

WOO
Fat Bottomed Girls.” If anything they slow the “rockin world” from goin ’round.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
Stevie Wonder did a cover of The Beatles‘ “We Can Work it Out.” Sorry, Mr. Wonder, but I will not try to see things your way. I like seeing things my way, which is to say with my fucking eyes!

SCOTTY HARRIS
My favorite song of all time: “8 Full Hours of Sleep” by Against Me! Opening line is, “When you sleep / No one is homeless.” I call Bullshit, Mr. Gabel! Your song is as lacking as it is brilliant!

JESS NORTON
I have never met anyone who lives in a yellow submarine.

SCOTTY HARRIS
For the record, I live in a yellow submarine, and by that I mean I’m on acid.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
How about George Michael‘s “I Want Your Sex“? He’s clearly singing that song to a woman, and in the video he writes the words “explore monogamy” on her back. Those are two lifestyle choices Mr. Michael is fairly famous for not pursuing.

J.MIZ
The R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet” debacle. Nothing says “secret” like a string of pseudo-operatic, chart-climbing pop songs. And “Dirty Little Secret” by All American Rejects. Do you how close I came to a statutory charge for that? That’s why I now get permission slips if they’re not street-legal.

SARACAKES
So my suspicion is that Mick Jagger COULD find some satisfaction. I mean, have you seen the dude dance? Hawt. Nor do I believe he really had to try THAT hard and THAT much. In regard to the man on the radio and the man on TV and his imagination and cigarettes, I can’t blame him there. There’s so much crap on the radio and TV and all. But is he saying he’s never tried reading a book? I’m not buying it.

One Comment to “3DSC, Day 7: Song you love by an artist you hate”

  1. I would add most anything by The Smashing Pumpkins. I love the music, but if I had the chance I’d beat Billy Corgan’s pretentious, shiny head in. The worst was when he dressed like a goth mad scientist: The Cabinet of Dr. Corgan.

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