3DSC, Day 6: Song you’re embarassed to admit you know all the words to

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 6: SONG YOU’RE EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT YOU KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO

Prince swears he's "all about the clam."

J.MIZ
Where should I begin? I pretty much have the entire Grease soundtrack memorized. I was motherfuckin Sandra Dee. Not only did I have that double-album gem on vinyl, I had two copies. Yes, two. No idea why. They both played fine. And nobody’s ever questioned it.

SARA J ROSE
Went out last night and was surprised I knew so many words to “Pussy Control” by Prince. I should have known the marriage wasn’t going to work out when I found out the guy liked Prince so much.

BUDDAH ESKEW
Sadly, “Mandy,” by Barry Manilow, although this nugget helped me write an inappropriate Michael J. Fox joke.

J.MIZ
I love “Copacabana.” Wait, I meant cabana boys. Never mind.

DRIFT ROBERTS
What “song”? Try the entire discography of Tom Petty, KISS, Boston, REO Speedwagon, Journey, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, The Who, CCR, Deep Purple, Genesis, Talking Heads, Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, Dylan, Queen, Jethro Tull, Rainbow, T.Rex, Simon and Garfunkel, Beatles, Yes, Fleetwood Mac, Doors, Stevie Wonder, David Bowie, AC/DC, Wings, Rush, Devo, Alice Cooper, Van Halen, Zappa, Elton John, Steely Dan, BOC, Van Morrison, Kinks, Cars, Judas Priest, Janis Joplin, Thin Lizzy, Uriah Heep, ZZ Top, Montrose, UFO, Boston, Cheap Trick, Joan Jett, Heart, Kansas and Warren Zevon. I’m 18. I should be spending my time getting laid and underage drinking, not being Buddah’s music buddy.

BUDDAH ESKEW
I got your “music buddy.” Pink Floyd?! Zep?! Them’s fighting words! You forgot Aerofuckinsmith!

DRIFT ROBERTS
Who’s Aerosmith?? (Hah! Gotcha!)

J.MIZ
Oh em gee… *hands Drift some pussy, then wonders if he and Buddah were any other kind of “buddies” since Buddah once warned me to be gentle with Drift*

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
I’m actually more embarrassed when I think I know the lyrics, only to be proven I can’t understand the English language. Case in point, for the longest time I thought the line in “White Rabbit” was, “Remember what the Dharma said.” I figured… it’s Hindu, Jefferson Airplane is kinda weird, it makes total sense. I ignored the obvious Alice in Wonderland-connected lyrics that permeate the rest of the song, and basically just made up my own shit. Fast forward years (I’m talking at least a decade), and the song comes up on the radio. I sing along, with my stupid, made-up lyric, only to be corrected — kindly, I will admit — by a friend in the vehicle with me at the time. I felt stupid beyond words when I realized how glaring my error was.

ANDREW HICKS
I probably know every word to every song on Mariah Carey‘s Emotions album, yet I still managed to convince an adult human female to marry me.

J.MIZ
I could be tested and proven to know all the words to “Love Song” by Billy Ocean. I also know all the words to “Silent Night” in Slovanian and Spanish, but in English? No clue. I can play it on the piano, so I’ve always sang that “G A G E,” etc.

MICHELLE DEE
Thug Story,” by T-Pain and Taylor Swift. I can karaoke about half of a couple Salt-N-Pepa songs, but this song ri hurrrr is the only rap song this white girl can keep up with.

SARA J ROSE
Faded” by Soul Decision. “Every night when we say goodbye / I can’t help looking in your eye / Wondering why you and I haven’t hit / Can we get it on?”

ANDREW HICKS
That’s all it really takes is a little eye contact, followed by the question, “Can we get it on?” But you’re into those bookish, mousy library-types, so they always respond, “I don’t know, can we? The word is ‘may,’ Sara J Rose.”

JESS NORTON
I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Wont Do That),” by the sexiest man alive: Meat Loaf.

One Comment to “3DSC, Day 6: Song you’re embarassed to admit you know all the words to”

  1. It was proved a couple days ago that I know all the words to “Mr. Jones” and “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” Oh, and Andrew and I used to split all the parts of “Regulators”. Ask Andrew to hear his Nate Dog singing voice. It’s nice. You’ll ask him to let you ride.

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