3DSC, Day 1: Song that makes you feel the most gangster

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’re like us, your Facebook feed has been flooded with people participating in the 30 Day Song Challenge. And if you’re also like us, you love music but don’t want to answer questions like, “What song do you listen to you when you’re sad?” and, “If your poodle was a Gloria Estefan song, which one would it be?” So we’re doing our own 30-day music challenge, with our own questions, and we invite you to contribute your own picks to our comments section below.

THE WNF 30-DAY SONG CHALLENGE
DAY 1: SONG THAT MAKES YOU FEEL THE MOST GANGSTER

J.MIZ
“Whats My Name” by DMX gets me hype. I used to bump the shit out of Gangsta Boo‘s “What U N*%#$z Want From a Bitch” in my Acura while driving to my job at a high-end private government hotel in my wool suit. THUG LYFE!

Before he was famous, Warren G used to get paid $4.80 an hour to make sure that streetlight didn't fall over.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
For me, it’s absolutely “Regulate” by Warren G and Nate Dogg. First, it starts off with a speech taken from Young Guns, a movie for which I have unabashed love. Second, this song came out while I was in high school. Two of my fellow Burger King coworkers at the time were gangster types. Now, you need to keep in mind that this came from the perspective of a Whitey McWhite guy who had just moved from Minnesota, where we the only black people I saw were on TV. So, in my mind, any black guy older than me who liked rap music and didn’t finish high school may as well have been an extra in Boyz in the Hood. Working the night shift, we’d throw Warren G in the CD player (resisting temptation to say “boombox”), and by the end of the summer, I had every cut on that album down cold. Definitely the thuggest time of my life.

DRIFT ROBERTS
I used to wrestle, and my introductory music — Simon and Garfunkel‘s “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)” — got me all hyphy and shit. Barbra Streisand‘s “People” does it for me too.

ANDREW HICKS
For me, it’s 2Pac and Digital Underground, “I Get Around.” The second that beat drops, I become Al Capone in M.C. Hammer pants. I hope to live long enough to see this song exist on karaoke so I can tommygun my way through all three rappers’ verses.

J.MIZ
“Hail Mary” on 2Pac‘s alter ego CD causes me immediate vaginal sealing and penile growth. But I have to follow up with “Fuck the World” to complete the transformation with a set of full-functioning testicles.

MICHELLE DEE
I don’t think I’ve ever felt gangster…

JESSICA STIMSON
Ditto.

ANDREW HICKS
Alternate question for Jess and Dee. Was there ever a song you could dream about performing for 15,000 people at Lilith Fair ’97? For me it’d be Paula Cole, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone.” (“I will do the dishes / While you go have a beeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr.”)

MICHELLE DEE
Indeed.

INSCRUTABLE JEFFREY TROTTER
If I’m singing at Lilith Fair, I’m going with Meredith Brooks‘ “Bitch.” Or “Stay” by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories.

JESSICA STIMSON
“Bitch” is my anthem, bitches.

J.MIZ
When we were little and had some cardboard, we’d throw on some parachute pants and bump “Friends” by Whodini. We were the baddest lily-white under-10 set in that hood for shizzle!

C.J. DODD
Any song by Eminem. Because I, too, am the real Slim Shady.

Five of your nine Supreme Court justices.

WOO
Eazy E, “Real Muthafuckin’ Gs.”

SAAD AHMED
“Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio.

ANDREW HICKS
What a coincidence. One of my buddies’ 60-year-old mom just picked “Gangsta’s Paradise” too! You want me to hook you guys up?

SAAD AHMED
Sorry, I’m already seeing a 60 year old.

ANDREW HICKS
I applaud your sexagenerian monogamy.

JAMES DRAPER
If I hear “Gin and Juice,” “Insane in the Brain,” NWA‘s “Automobile” and “It’s Tricky” all in a row, I have to turn my hat around.

ANDREW HICKS
Speaking of NWA, “Appetite For Destruction” is another really good one. Though it might have caused Eazy E a little trouble upon entering the gates of Heaven.
GOD: Hmmm, looks like you wrote your own version of the Ten Commandments.
EAZY E: That’s correct.
GOD: Your second commandment was, “Always gotta fuck outta wedlock / I like it when the pussy goes snap, crackle and pop.”
EAZY E: That’s correct.
GOD (pushes button for trap door)

BUDDAH ESKEW
I don’t do rap, but I feel all gangster when Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight” is grooving the airwaves.

FREETHY
The piano/guitar interlude at the end of “Layla.” Because it was in Goodfellas, and you can’t get more gangster than that.

ALAN PERRY
“I’ve Got You Under My Skin.” Who’s more gangster than Sinatra?

J.MIZ
I just shed a princess tear when I realized that, somewhere in Manitoba, some kid would answer “Informer” by Snow.

2 Comments to “3DSC, Day 1: Song that makes you feel the most gangster”

  1. Well, I’m just going to have to up the ante here with some Scarface “No Tears”:

    “I’ve got my pistol on cock
    Ready to lay shots non-stop
    Until I see your monkey-ass drop
    And let your homies know who done it
    Cause when it comes to this gangsta shit
    you muthafuckas know who run it
    So when you put this muthafucka to the test
    You gotta realize somethin, n%@%#: (you fuckin with the very best.”

    If it can make Michael Bolton feel gangsta, it’s good enough for anybody.

  2. RIP Warren G!!! Regulate was def a Gangsta Song…but this song also did it for me…

%d bloggers like this: