Vag-a-Bond

A TASTEFUL J.MIZ DISCUSSION
edited by ANDREW HICKS


J.MIZ
Riding in the car with my brother, and he’s flipping radio stations. His moment of resignation unfortunately came from a station that went from Luda to Ke$ha. HALP! Think I have a brain bleed ):

ANDREW J HICKS
Speaking of Ke$ha, you can’t spell “vagabond” without “vag.”

J.MIZ
You can’t spell “dick” without… “dick.”
Why did my brain just create a combo of Gold Bond/denture cream for pussy?! “Vag-a-Bond! Keeps you fresh AND reduces slippage by sealing your vag tight as the day you were born! Vag-a-Bond!”
Testimonial: “I’m wearing it right now!”
Cue salsa music and two 70-somethings dancing in Puerto Rico… “Oy vey, I need a nap…” VAG-A-BOND!

ANDREW J HICKS
I dunno. Maybe I’m just biased against 70-year-old vaginas.

J.MIZ
Hey man, don’t knock 70-year-old vag till ya try it! Especially with all the strides in vagiplasty! On my 40th birthday, I’m going in for a “preteen” nip and tuck!
“Yeah, she’s forty, but she has the pussy of a ten year old!” says my future husband/celebrity pedo. And by “celebrity,” I mean he’s had a sit-down with Chris Hansen. He was the one with the four pack of purple Four Loko and the red vines. He gets out in 2013! Can’t wait! Excite! (:
And Andrew, there comes a time when you must choose between 70-year-old cooch and 70- year-old balls! WHAT DO YOU DO?!
“In a world… where all genitalia is 70… there is one man, and one man only… who will fight to renew the junk of this post-apocalyptic world… This man is THE TAINT MASTER! He alone can bring youth to a cold, dead world’s nether regions!”
Starring Bruce Campbell as Andrew P Keaton.
Jus so you know, J.Miz had the best junk discussion today!

ANDREW J HICKS
It’s Ke$ha. Say what you will about her, but she really gets us ordinary Americans talking about elderly junk like no recording artist since maybe Grace Jones.

J.MIZ
She’s sooooo young, but she has the puss of the Crypt Keeper! Ah heh heh he heh!

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