___-Harmony

by WE’RE NOT FUNNY
edited by ANDREW HICKS

ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site for thugs: G-HARMONY.
…for last-ditch desperation: PLEA-HARMONY.
…for homosexual TV fanatics: GLEE-HARMONY
…for the mentally challenged: REE-REE-HARMONY.
…for little people: WEE-HARMONY.

WOO
Online dating site for itchy bitches: FLEA-HARMONY.
…for my flower pollinators out there: BEE-HARMONY.
…for middle-aged men looking for showpiece wives: TROPHY-HARMONY.
…for Will Smith fans: JIGGY-HARMONY.
…for hot-tubbers: JACUZZI-HARMONY.

J.MIZ
Online dating site for swingers: KEY-HARMONY.
…sponsored by NAMBLA: PRE-HARMONY.
…for “social” cocaine users: SKI-HARMONY.
…for dumb racist americans: TEA-HARMONY.
…for people with OCD: 1-2-3-HARMONY.

ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site for fellatio performance artists: KNEE-HARMONY.
…for extraterrestrial invaders: V-HARMONY.
…for French midget Nintendo lovers: OUI-WEE-WII-HARMONY.
…for the Greatest Of All Time: ALI-HARMONY.
…for Arbor Day enthusiasts: TREE-HARMONY.

WOO
Online dating site for skinheads: NAZI-HARMONY.
…‎867-5309.com: JENNY-HARMONY.
…for those who head out to the front porch with their boomboxes and St. Ides: 40-HARMONY.
…for the homies feelin’ Thuggish Ruggish: BONE THUGS AND HARMONY-HARMONY.
…for people who like to be absolutely sure… for people who like to be absolutely sure: REDUNDANCY-HARMONY.

J.MIZ
Online dating site that’s a real trip: LSD-HARMONY.
…where all your wishes will come true: GENIE-HARMONY.
…for cheese lovers: BRIE-HARMONY.
…for salad tossers: SYRUP OR JELLY-HARMONY.
…for HEY LOOK, A SQUIRREL! Wait, what?? ADD-HARMONY.

OTHER ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site for guys who take a little blue pill: E.D.-HARMONY.
…for fans of secondary characters from iconic video games: LUIGI-HARMONY.
…for people pleasers: I AGREE-HARMONY.
…for people from the South: DIXIE-HARMONY.
…for people who sell drugs for a living: PHARMACY-HARMONY.

MICHELLE DEE
Online dating site for lovers of boy bands: NKOTB-HARMONY.
…for potheads: MUNCHIE-HARMONY.
…for people terrified of spiders: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!-HARMONY
…for folks with an aversion to Coke: PEPSI-HARMONY.

ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site for people with a messy past… DEBRIS-HARMONY.
…for big-time stars: MARQUEE-HARMONY.
…for Shaggy’s cheatin’ ass: IT WASN’T ME-HARMONY.
…for hard candy lovers: SPREE-HARMONY.
…for lovers of Shakespeare and/or the King James Bible: YE-HARMONY.

WOO
Online dating site for folks a little too into digits: PINKY-HARMONY.
…for those moving around a lot: GYPSY-HARMONY.
…for fans of Emily Post: PROPERLY-HARMONY.
…for chicks who just wanna get right to the meat: BOLOGNA-HARMONY.
…for those with no loot: TONY TONI TONE-HARMONY.

J.MIZ
Online dating site for people hooked on phonics: ABC-HARMONY.
…for people seeking inner peace: CHI-HARMONY.
…for dudes really into their cars and sweet feathered hairdos: GENERAL LEE-HARMONY.
…for orphans: ANNIE-HARMONY.
…for people whose lives were changed after a weekend in Tijuana: DONKEY-HARMONY.

OTHER ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site for people who have heavily participated in this thread: INSANITY-HARMONY.
…for guys who like to work out and grab other guys in tights: WWE-HARMONY.
…for people who aren’t QUITE drunk yet: TIPSY-HARMONY.
…for people who like gold chains and who “pity the fool”: MR. T-HARMONY.
…for people who believe what goes up must come down: GRAVITY-HARMONY.

MICHELLE DEE
Online dating site for Bert: ERNIE-HARMONY.
…for those with “two purr”: NELLY-HARMONY.
…for those with an excessive amount of lawn ornaments in their yard: GAUDY-HARMONY.
…for people who just do it: NIKE-HARMONY.

ANDREW HICKS
Online dating site if you want to settle for second best: B-HARMONY.
…if you want to settle for second worst: D-HARMONY.
…for web-slinging superheoroes: SPIDEY-HARMONY.
…for her and her and him: THREE’S-HARMONY.
From now on, I’m calling up the other Andrew Hicks when I’m unavailable or uninspired: UNDERSTUDY-HARMONY.

WOO
Online dating site for rich Californians: VALLEY-HARMONY.
…for quiet, intellectual types: LIBRARY-HARMONY.
…for nuns or monks working their way up the church ladder: ABBACY-HARMONY.
…for people who give their dates a Rorschach test before going out: INKY-HARMONY.
…for brain surgeons: CEREBELLOMEDULLARY-HARMONY.
Disney fanatics hookup over at: MICKEY-HARMONY.
…for lonely snickets: LEMONY-HARMONY.
…for those who just like to give it away: PHILANTHROPY-HARMONY.

J.MIZ
Online dating site for men of the cloth: HOLY-HARMONY.
…for squirters: CREAMY-HARMONY.
…for people with bath fetishes: RUBBER DUCKIE-HARMONY.
…facilitating virtual dating for people with Asperger’s: DONT TOUCH ME-HARMONY.
…for people who, um, uh, what was it called? MEMORY-HARMONY.
…for people really not all that into it: APATHY-HARMONY.
…for people who have a deity complex during sex: OH ME OH ME OH ME-HARMONY.
…for convicts: D.O.C.-HARMONY.
…if ya like big butts and you cannot lie: SODOMY-HARMONY.
…if you’re only down for oral: TASTY-HARMONY.
…for cheaters: OPP-HARMONY.
…for disco fans: BEE GEE-HARMONY.
…for dudes into cheerleaders: OH, MICKEY!-HARMONY.
…for people on life support: I.V.-HARMONY.

WOO
Online dating site for florists: BOTANY-HARMONY.
…for those from the planet Xenu: SCIENTOLOGY-HARMONY.
…for those just into friendship? PLATONICY-HARMONY.
Laverne and Shirley got dates on SQUIGGY-HARMONY.
Wailing dead chicks hookin’ up over at BANSHEE-HARMONY.
I think I might sue for all my time lost in this thread. INDEMNITY-HARMONY.

J.MIZ
Online dating site for chicks afraid of full penetration: JUST THE T.I.P.-HARMONY.
…for people into drum circles: DIRTY HIPPIE-HARMONY.
…for those in need of long schlong TO THE KNEE-HARMONY.
…for friendly cowboys: HOWDY-HARMONY.
…for people with Down Syndrome: CORKY-HARMONY.
…for your future babydaddy: MAURY-HARMONY.
…for ladies into the ashy dark-skinned brothers: KRISPY-HARMONY.
…for sexy Latinas: TAMALE-HARMONY.
What about dem old thugs??? TRIPLE O.G.-HARMONY.

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