Woo’s News, Feb. 9, 2011

by Woo

Superbowl XLV won by the Greenbay Packers

The Packers hold their lead overall to pull off the win. The Steelers might have had more of a chance, but QB Ben Roethlisberger RAPED what should have been a good pass early in the first quarter. Later in the game he took a misstep and RAPED his own knee. Overall, he managed to RAPE his entire team and led them to a loss.

Lindsay Lohan to be charged with felony grand theft of necklace, and Tanning salon sues Lindsay Lohan for $41K unpaid bill

Can’t she just snort herself into a Hendrix-style death so we don’t have to hear about this shit anymore?

Christina Aguilera Gets Another Chance to Recover from Super Fumble

She screwed up the words to the National Anthem. I’m game to give her another chance, so long as Fergie doesn’t get a second chance as well.

Assange Probe Hits Snag

Investigators have run into a wall trying to tie Assange to the initial leak of information. I’m sure if they asked nicely Assange could provide documents outing himself.

Russia’s Top Terrorist Promises More Bombs for Moscow

That dude better watch his ass, I hear in Mother Russia Moscow Bombs You.

The Band LCD Soundsystem Announce Farewell NYC Show

Who?

%d bloggers like this: