Woo’s News, Jan. 22, 2011

by Woo

‘American Idol’ gives Fox its best Thursday ratings in 16 years

Fox also received a hand-job from Steven Tyler to score some blow.

Rumour also has it J-Lo and Tyler are hooking up, sources close to the pair indicate Lopez as feeling Steven is the only man alive who could possibly be uglier than Mark Anthony.

Bank of America Posts 4th-Quarter Loss of $1.2 Billion

We’ll have something to say on this subject once we give a fuck!

Larynx transplant restores voice to Central Valley woman

Husband said to be suing hospital and all Doctors involved, as he now can’t get the bitch to shut-up.

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords leaves Tucson

Too soon? Too soon.

It’s National Hugging Day

National Hugging Day? Sounds like National Free Pass On Sexual Harassment Day.

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