Inconspicuously Lit

by ANDREW HICKS

The Long Island Iced Tea was invented in Prohibition times to throw off the law, because it actually looked like an innocent, non-alcoholic beverage. Prohibition is long over, but you might find yourself in need of a drink that no one knows is a drink. So if you’re somewhere that doesn’t allow conspicuous consumption, all you need to make this innocent-looking drink is:

  • A bottle of vodka
  • A bottle of gin
  • A bottle of rum
  • A bottle of tequila
  • A bottle of triple sec
  • A bottle of sour mix
  • A bottle of Coke
  • A ton of ice
  • A flash blender
  • A quart-sized silver mixing tin
  • Seven towels to wrap your glass bottles in, so they don’t clank
  • An enormous duffel bag to put all this shit in

Smuggle these 12 things into whichever place prohibits alcohol, and you too can walk around with your “iced tea” and a knowing wink to flash the cool people. This plan is genius, and this plan is utterly foolproof.

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