What’s In A Name?

by We’re Not Funny as written by Woo

Before we here at We’re Not Funny, were called as such, we really did not know what to call ourselves. We had our vision (to be the hot friend your mom had inappropriate thoughts about), and our plan of action for the ‘Zine. We were just stuck on choosing a name. We all did some brainstorming on my Facebook wall, and while none of those ideas ever worked out, there were some worth noting.

Several sprang out right away:

  • Feed Glenn Beck To Alligators
  • Inarticulate Articles
  • Space Balls, The Magazine
  • And A Midget

None of these seemed to have the feel we were looking for. Even Andrews following idea and explanation, while guffaw-inducing, did not work out for us. “They once asked me to help name a porn film that had stoned foot fetishists in a pancake restaurant. I told ’em to call it High F*ck-Toes Porn Syrup.”

Then we thought, what if we make a merge betwixt our two selves in some fashion (two meaning the site founders). Some sort of a merging of names or astrological signs.  It worked for Outkast with their Aquemini album, right? What were a Capricorn and a Pisces to do?

Andrew: I’m Pisces, so that’s no good. Sounds like Cap-pies-corn.
Woo: Ewww. CapriPie, on the other hand, sounds nummy.
Andrew: One of those old school Hollywood delis might have served a dessert called Caprapie back in the day, as tribute to Frank Capra.

As you can see, no luck there either. Seriously, what the shit!? We’re supposed to be funny and artistic people, what’s with the naming struggle? I suppose, though, that group consensus on a name is not always the easiest thing. Andrew decided this would be much easier if we were still kids, and had a fully loaded bong to inhale some ideas. I did agree, but I thought maybe we needed some dry erase markers, and a Whiteboard. Bang this thing out House, M.D. style. Bonus: Perhaps we could bang Lisa Cuddy while we’re in House-mode.

Then, I had it! Well, I thought I had it. I said, “Monochromatic Rainbow. See, it’s like a rainbow of artistic expression right… but all in black and white text. Get it? I like it.” I just liked the sound of it. Cool words. Sounds hip. Even a shortened MonoRain sounds great. Just rolls right off…. wait WTF? That totally sounds like code for a boring homosexual. Back to the drawing board!

The remainder of our ideas were random at best. Some comical, some not. All failing to make the cut.

  • Anal Resentful
  • Care Bear Stare
  • Constant Threat
  • The Septemberist
  • Intoxicated Llama
  • Mental Douche
  • Aardvark Pants
  • Tragic Platypus
  • The Long E Sound
  • The Inside Joke
  • Hyper Prose
  • Plastic Dreams
  • Mislaid Affections
  • Errors Have Been Made
  • Cryptic Telegrams
  • Obfuscation
  • TheBrokenSpaceBarArticles

See how unfunny we are? I mean, Aardvark Pants? Aardvark’s don’t even wear pants. They don’t even have money to purchase pants. And no opposable thumb to create their own pants. What were we thinking?

Out of complete happenstance I decided to make a Facebook Group for us all. Mostly just to see what it would be like. Check out the functionality. Have a place to say things like Twatwaffle, Donkey Punch, Cock Holster, and AssWhore hidden from view of more conservative friends and family. So I clicked “Create Group,” and when it came time to put in a group name  We’re Not Funny came to mind. Self-Deprecation is an old comedic standy-by. It just came out that way, and Andrew knew as soon as he saw it that he wanted it for our name. I loved it to, but I had not yet realized I had come up with something viable.

So here we are bitches. We’re Not Funny. No, for real.

One Comment to “What’s In A Name?”

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