Men Being Men

edited by ANDREW HICKS

Every now and then, two greats will cross paths and bask in the other’s genius. Picture that black-and-white portrait of President Richard Nixon shaking the hand of Big Old Elvis Presley in the Oval Office. Imagine being the guy on the third barstool the night Sam Kinison and Bill Hicks crossed each other’s paths and traded comedic world-views over what had to be a ton of drinks.

Or how about sitting front row at the 1990 Grammy Awards, when Michael Bolton, Kenny G and the long shiny brass shaft of a Soprano Sax shared the stage for a performance of “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You” that still holds a proud place in adult-contemporary history? Michael Bolton did not leave that night without a Grammy, but I don’t need to tell you that.

We can talk all day about the musical artistry of Bolton and G – believe us, we can – but we’d rather talk about what their hair looked like 20 years ago. On stage right (your left), Michael B sports a mullet-ed auburn perm. On stage left (your right), Kenny G has a lustrous Jheri-curl in dire need of some Soul Glow. It’s quite the follicular juxtaposition.

You can see each end of the talent see-saw tilt back and forth throughout this 3-minute, 15-second performance. Mullet Mike clenches his fists in emotional immediacy. G-Dog does a back-bend whenever he’s about to start wailing on his sax. At the end, they both point at each other like, “Ain’t we the shit?”

But don’t take our word for it. Listen to the words of these satisfied YouTube viewers:

Saxronin1 writes, “Absoluteley beautifull,if do Kenny could have slowed down just a little to give micheal jus a little bit of more space. Never the less they are both god gifted musicians!!”

MegaCoolvibes writes, “i luv these 2 guys soooooooo much, listening 2 them gives me goose pimples. its just amazing.”

Condedevilarica escribe, “Belíssima canção. É colírio para os meu olhos, é doçura para minha boca, conforto para meu corpo, é remédio para minha alma…”

This is a Bolton/G collabo so sublime it makes We’re Not Funny wonder if you can win a Grammy for Best TV Music Performance while you’re on the Grammies. It’s a mystery. Wrapped in enigma. Wrapped in cheese. (Mmmm, cheese…) Wrapped in veiled homosexual tension. Wait, hold on, there was definitely no veiling.

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